Okay MelonLand, let's bake a cake!

Ingredients:

• all the love in your heart and soul <3 :D :3
• all the hatred in your mind and body >:D
• All of earth's water
• 3 tsp baking powder
• This recursive reference:
• Another 3 tsp of baking powder
• 73 and 1/2 eggs
• your life savings
• 100 millilitres of botulinum toxin!!

• 9807g of Flour
• 1 cake
• Unactivated almonds
• You credit card number, including the last 3 digits on the back! /sar
• Activated dynamite
• Your heart's truest wish
• Unregistered Hypercam 2
• Guru Meditation #00202122.48454C50 Press left mouse button to continue...
• french fries
• The shrimp from sharktale
• 2 gallons vanilla extract
• a ball from the ball pit
• 2 cups of flour
• the soul of a victorian child (sour corn can be used as a vegetarian alternative)
• a dash of bubonic plague
• a completely reasonable amount of butter (can subsitute the butter with a completely unreasonable amount of margarine if desired)02983460298354760923847069283745096827534096827405968274509 sticks of butter, or gallons.*
• a hand full of peas
• a hand
• 2 ⅞ cups of milk
• hi if you can read this i'm trapped in this recipe, send help
• A crusty old 20 dollar bill you got from uncle jimbo
• computer monitor
• fish sauce
• thai basil
• Filth
• butter probably like some of it
• 
• 
• 
• A Commodore 64
• Did I hear French fries? --AY3
• your least favorite book (cant be digital)
• This folder, compressed into a .zip archive piracy 101 lmao
• your mom
• A tesseract (substitute with 300 butter if not avaliable)
• this fish. OBLIGATORY you know what that means!

*02983460298354760923847069283745096827534096827405968274509 sticks of butter may be substitudted for 12 sticks of margarine, if desired. or use 10-100000 sticks of butter if you dont want margarine

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 175℃
2. Then 700℃
3. Add as much sugar as your heart tells you to
4. Put in one egg
5. Kiss the egg!!
6. Then put 500 more
7. Fai un salto
8. Fanne un altro
9. Preheat the toaster to -200°C/-328°F. while you're waiting for it to heat up, perform a backwards long jump next to your wifi router (it might take a few tries) and glitch into a universe where this recipe is even remotely edible
10. Do a witches chant to envoke the spirit of the river dragons
11. Why'd you turn on the oven? We aren't gonna need that. Turn it off again
12. Turn it back on again, it's cold in here
13. Dude, turn it on.
14. Thank you,
15. rly, turn it on.
16. thank.
17. Guys I'm going to hamburger place do you want anything --ArsenicCatnip
18. is it that one burger place with the really good milkshakes? grab me a cheeseburg and a cookie n cream shake --bb
19. Walk outside. Don't worry about the oven, it'll be fine. Keep walking. Don't look back. Enjoy the rainfall. It's cold out here.
20. Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food? Ponder this question while you wait for the cake to bake.
21. Guys did you just see that. Did you just see that.I swear I just saw a Gnome outside.Didyouguys See that????
22. Have some fun, man. Just play it by ear. Listen to your heart.
23. u got the hamburg? if you did, put it on the oven. - oerrorpage
24. go back to step 3.
25. and then go to sixty.... six
26. 10 PRINT BASIC 20 GOTO 10
27. and then say the letter e.
28. Break the cycle and escape the individualized dream.
29. Fai una giravolta
30. Falla un'altra volta
31. Give me a little kiss.
32. then dew it 5000 more timez and then u hav a cak
33. The masses argue that your cake really is not a cake due to the methods of its creation. Stand your ground and defend your cake lest you want to be sent to the ROOM OF JAGUARS!
34. ^^ It depends entirely on whether it goes hard or soft when it turns stale. The same theory is applied to Jaffa Cakes, which go hard when stale, akin to a spongecake, ergo, it is a cake. So...will this turn hard or soft upon becoming stale? Maybe this bucketload of concrete will help!

35. this really helped my new cake bakery - oerrorpage
36. uh, hey... did somebody check in on the oven?
37. What oven? Where am I???
38. ah shet, the entire room is now ash.
39. rise from the ash like a phoenix! rawr!!!!! (also did you ever get my milkshake im really hungry) --bb
40. Here's your milkshake babygirl....ArsenicCatnip


Milkshake has been significantly scaled down for your own protection

41. thats a big milkshake - oerrorpage
42. That's why we needed all the earth's water - HalfofBilly
43. the gome
44. i thought we were making a cake, not a milkshake! (holy crap i rhymed) - oerrorpage
45. mmm that cake was yummy.
46. hey can i have som e cake too ??
47. milkhaskae yummy.... tasty mmm thank u --bb
48. Adding some salt to the cake if y'all don mind :3
49. Hey... guys? nice cake but uhh... the entire world is in a drought. maybe we should do something about that or...?
50. refill the ocean with milksha ke
51. i think a gnome stole my cake
52. Guarda in giù
53. Guarda in su
54. Guarda in sudo?????
55. i think a cake stole my gnome
56. Add a liberal amount of fish sauce to both the cake and the gnome. And some more, for insurance
57. Add a FISH to the cake ‭>(°)#))<<
58. Let the cake turn you into a writhing mass of tentacles. Do not resist. Resisting will only serve to worsen the process which has already started.
59. Dai un bacio a chi vuoi tu :)
60. Add vanilla extract
61. put cake in the oven :)
62. Take it out of the oven with your own bare hands. Then, smash it with a hammer and add one jaguar teeth, two human eyelashes and three rabbit feet.
63. Allow the cake to rot into a putrid sludge (5-7 weeks)
64. Play Zork I on that C64
65. ???????????????
66. help
67. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
68. Mash your keyboard
69. RUN BSD
70. whathefsck????????????
71. goto 25
72. Take your least favorite book and rip off a page for absolutely no reason. or put it on the cake, if desired.
73. Summon the Wither and kill it with your bare hands. (in Bedrock, because the Java wither is for WIMPS.)
74. Serve with butter or freshly boiled hotdog water to your taste

hahaha ok real talk. here's a REAL cake recipe from one of my hand-written recipe book! --arsenicCatnip

Black Forest Gateau recipe

INGREDIENTS

For the cake

1. 4 eggs
2. 1 tsp of vanilla extract
3. 167g of golden caster sugar
4. 36g of cocoa powder
5. 66g of plain flour
6. 100g of non-salted butter, melted

For the decoration

7. 100g of dark chocolate
8. 27 pitted black cherries

For the syrup

9. 115g of golden caster sugar
10. 2 tbsp of kirsch liquor

For the cream

11. 500ml of whipping cream
12. 50g of golden caster sugar
13. 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
14. 2 tbsp of kirsch liquor

1. Pre-heat your oven to 180C. In a large mixing bowl, take the eggs, vanilla extract and sugar, and whisk till smooth and thick. Sift in the cocoa powder and flour, then mix once again. Stir in the melted non-salted butter.

2. Pour the cake mix into a paper-lined tray, the shape of your choosing, though square/rectangular shall work best. Bake in the oven for 15-20 minutes, then leave to cool upon a rack. Take this moment to soak your cherries in a solution of kirsch liquor and simple syrup.

3. Grate the bar of chocolate, and chill the shavings in your ice-box or refridgerator.

4. For to make the syrup, take 133ml of water in a pan with the sugar, and bring to a boil for five minutes, stir continuously, so as to not let it harden. Leave it to cool, then stir in the kirsch liquor.

5. For to make the cream, whip the 500ml of cream and sugar together with a whisk, then gently whisk in the vanilla extract and kirsch, emphasis on gently, as you would not want it to curdle.

6. Assembling the cake is as follows. Cut the cake sponge into two or three thin layers, brush lightly with the kirsch syrup, then sandwich them together with the kirsch cream and your soaked black cherries. Cover the sides of the cake with kirsch cream, then pipe the rest with a decorative pipe upon the top layer of sponge, design as you wish. Garnish each swirl with a maraschino cherry, should you wish.

7. Take ice water and soak your hands in it till cold, then, with your palm, stick the chocolate shavings on the side of the cake all around. Sprinkle a little of the shavings on the top of the cake, and serve it forth.

hope u like this recipe!! --arsenicCatnip

Looks yummy --AY3

^^^^ This cake is a lie ^^^^